When you are down and you fall you got to find a way to get back up and try it again. Welcome to the life of addiction. Looking for the resources and tools that are out there is key. Recognizing when you are wrong and when you fuck up after so many chances is key. Not being in denial and not being delusional is important. A great analogy: The root of the weeds by the side walk must be poison then pull out and cut the roots so it won’t grow again. Cutting the root of what is making me be so impulsive. That impulsivity created on an addict’s brain. That impulsivity that brings me back to the swamp over and over again. Well is time for me to get some Roundup in my life and kill the root of many plants in my life that keep making me do the same shit over and over again. Now to those particular individuals that keep talking and that do the same shit I been doing if not worse than me I will like to see you where I’m at! I will like to see you try doing what I do. Don’t go talking when your life is worse than mines! You are the weeds in my life that I need to poison cut then burn. I love my self I love my man and they are the reason why I’m trying it again! #NAhereIcome#recoveryonceagain#ilovemyself#ilovemyrelationship#ilovemyfamily
You know everyday can't be the perfect day. We wish it could be but that's just not how this world works.
It's days that just don't seem to go our way, that should define who we are.
When obstacles are staring you in the face, be excited about getting an opportunity to defeat it. Push past it.
I mean, just be cool when things go wrong. Replace a negative mindset with a positive mindset. Our minds are powerful and we choose whether that's good or bad.
People asked me how do I stay so positive all the time. My answer is I'm not always positive, I'm human and from time to time I get upset, frustrated, pissed off, and what keeps my mind fresh with a positive outlook, is to think about all of the wonderful and positive things that have come into my life. Not to mention some uplifting music. That always gets those positive juices flowing.
It's really about finding that happy place within yourself. Channeling in on your mind, your body, your life. Truly finding a healthy balance.
You know that you are amazing. It's important to tell yourself that. We've come this far, and there is always a way to deal with the present moment. #wearefierce Remember that. ALWAYS!! #fitgirlsguide#fitgirlvibes#ownyourfierce#igotyourback#iamnotperfect#ilovemyself#fitgirlforlife
What does it mean to be a woman? This is a new territory for me, for I spent so many years operating from my left brain, right body masculine energy side. I was taught that it wasn't cool to be a woman...that it wasn't good enough to be a woman. Being a girl meant this: too dramatic, too emotional, too weak, too stupid, too irrational, too soft, too frail, too fragile. It meant I wasn't as smart, able, capable or free as my brothers or peers. As a tall blonde leader type, played rugby, was smart, outgoing, daring, strong, silly and social, I then went from not enough to too much. I was too tall for a girl, too strong, too talkative, too nice, too pretty for rugby, too smart to model, too social for debate team, too outgoing, too skinny, too bossy, too too too too too.
This constant attack of not enough combined with too much seriously took a toll. I developed a serious identity of never good enough, no matter what I did I would never and could never just be anything because it would always upset someone, and cause some sort of drama. I feel like I've spent my entire life under attack from other peoples opinions.
What I have come to realize is that IT WAS NEVER THEIR FAULT FOR HOW I FELT. I allowed their opinions to break me down. I internalized their own issues with me and made them my own. I took their words and made them my truth. I tormented myself by trying to figure out a way to just be enough for so long until it broke me.
As a child, teenager and young adult I didn't know this (no one ever taught me this way of understanding myself), but now I know better. NO ONE's opinion of me is more important than my own. I am happy with who I am because I am who I am and I know I am a good person because I choose to be.
As for my personality, thoughts, body, etc, I now know that I can't please everyone and nor must I try. I am happy with who I am and who I am continuously growing to become, and that is what matters.
I used to see being a girl as weak, but now I see the strength and the power in the vulnerability, the openness, the real ness and the rawness of being a woman and I am grateful to be this new definition of me.