BUT I need this time with my weights.
A bunch of shit went down in my house last night. Hard decisions were made. And sacrifices to come. I'm not ready to share yet, maybe someday.
Right now I just need to focus on me & my family.
I was actually asked last night what I would do if I couldn't workout...because I was working full time and was too tired when I got home.
Honestly...I dont know. I NEED this time. It's how I release stress. When I'm angry I NEED to throw weights around. When I'm feeling those feelings of self-hatred creep back in on me from years past....i need a good sweat session.
Fitness is part of my identity. It's who I am.
If I lose that, I lose a big chunk of ME.
Lots of questions rolling through my head right now....
I'm usually positive...optimistic
BUT sometime life hits me hard.
It's been a LONG 2 weeks and seems to just be getting worse & worse.
Right now all I can do it put on a brave face...cuz inside I'm hurting...im helpless...im defeated.
I will power on. Somehow, some days.
I have to...for my boys...
More food but less definition ?? I'll take it! 😼
Embracing a fuller look this #offseason and I'm starting to develop a different relationship with the number on the scale. Seeing my weight go up is definitely not comfortable for me but I remind myself that it's all a mental game. Our bodies SHOULD maintain a healthy body fat for optimal performance and this time of the year, my goals have switched from conditioning to achieving more muscle and mental balance 🙏🏼 I know it is not easy to disregard the weight fluctuations so to help you look PAST that number, I recommend using alternative forms of tracking progress (i.e. clothes fitting better, new PR, increased endurance, etc) and redirect your goals. Please feel free to reach out with any questions you may have on achieving balance and I'd be more than happy to share some of my experiences with you 🤗 HAPPY #FRIYAY !
Still so much to pack but I'm surviving on coffee and wine! Apparently it's too early for wine so coffee it is....taking he kid to the park and am gonna do a little workout there....I need to get out and do something different for my mental health today 💁🏻🤗 #movingsucks#coffee#tired#friday